Help!! School say my son is not on SEN register

Hi there. I am new here. My son is 14. Since he was 4 we have been under Camhs on and off. He is very sociable so has not got diagnosis of asd...but many professionals outside of Camhs think he has Aspergers with elements of pda. He also has a diagnosis of Sensory modulation disorder and an eating disorder.
A few weeks ago we finally got a diagnosis of ADHD...moderate to severe.
He is bright and mainly in top sets at school.
Since he started in yr 7 all teachers report inattention, distractability, lack of work, talks too much etc etc...but they just keep giving him demerits and detentions and he has been put in isolation a number of times.
I have kept in regular contact with school and they keep saying they are doing all these things to support him..but my son is still struggling.
So as soon as he got the diagnosis i contacted school and i really hoped they might have taken it seriously...but instead they put him on report...
The behaviour intervention report booklet he has been given states 2 targets..both of which are directly related to his condition. Each teacher has to make comments on it and score him 1 to 4.
The comments being made a negative and he was even given demerits yesterday for double punishment.
I am meeting with school next week and Parent Partnership are coming with me. The school are saying that adhd isnt covered by their SEN register.
My son is very fortunate that he has some good mates..some of whom also have adhd..otherwise i dont think i would be able to get him into school. Its been such a negative experience for him.
My daughter is now in 6th form. She has spd and dyspraxia and Irlen syndrome..but she is very academic and got all A*s in her GCSEs last summer. My son however only gets negative feedback from school and i have to try to pick up the pieces at home.
So glad to have found this forum.

Any advice regarding this and the meeting next week would be very welcome.
Thank you.


  • Chris ContactChris Contact Community Moderator

    Hi @hevs67

    Welcome to Contact's community. We hope we can help you feel at home and find others like you.

    If you haven’t already, you might find it helpful to have a look at our community guidelines and FAQs, which you can find here:

    You can also join the relevant condition hub so other people with children with the same conditions can find you.

    Any questions, do just drop us a private message and we’ll be happy to help.

    Take care and welcome again

  • ContactContact Community Manager
    Hi @hevs67

    Have you had a look at the Contact website section on Education? It might give you some useful information that could help - it also include details of our helpline as our SEN advisers would be able to give you further information about school's duties to provide the right support for children with additional needs and disabilities. Please do give them a call as they can also make sure you know about local services that are available to support families around educational issues.

    The number is 0808 808 3555 and is open Monday to Friday 9.30am-5.00pm.

    Hope this helps.

    Take care

    Alex (Contact)
  • I think i might have to give this phone number a try. At the end of middle school my Daughter had someone come to the school and access her. They told me she had a auditory memory disorder and she could not retain things she was told, if they were not told slow enough. Well it's been a nightmare, and we are now in the last year of high school and things are getting a little on top of her. Last year she went through a hard time in going to school crying on the way into school waking up at night with the thought of going to school. I think everything goes through your brain trying to find out what the problem was, then the school asked if i could attend a session with my Daughter and the school councillor. Things started ok, then she told the councillor about one of the teachers. Because she could not keep up with the teacher the head of year sat her with her friend, who could repeat what the teacher was saying so she could keep up. However the teacher saw the girl talking to my Daughter and told her off for talking in class, and sent my Daughters friend to another seat. This left my Daughter having to put her hand up often and asking what the teacher had said. This lead the teacher to start calling her stupid and this lead the other pupils,not all saying the same thing. Then she passed out in the room. I looked at the councillor who could tell by this point i was not happy, and said this needs sorting. For months we had hell trying to get her to go to school and in the end it turned out to be a teacher that was making her feel like this. She had started self harming and I took her to the doctors. They said she should go to MIND. 10 sessions she did there and the tears have gone, however the problem is still there. She had an iep at the middle school because of the things set out by the person who accessed her. However the school says because she doesn't have SEN they dont have to do anything even though they know she cannot keep up. Now the tears have turned to arguing, so now she gets excluded for not being able to keep up. Is there anyway i can make the school see she needs the help set out in this book they sent to me to give to the school, thinking of it why did they even send it to me and tell me to take it to her next school if they were not going to do anything. Any help 

  • FennoFenno Member, Community Moderator
    Hi Daz66 - welcome to the Community

    My name is Angie, I work at Contact. You can read about SEN and the school's responsibilities on the Contact website: 

    Information on the school's responsibilities in England is available on the Contact website:

    Schools in England should publish on their website, their SEN information report which includes how they identify, and suport disabled children and children with SEN. 

    The SEND code of practice for England includes the 4 broad areas of need that schools should plan and support pupils with, it includes social, emotional and mental health difficulties. 

    Schools can exclude for behaviour reasons, they should not exclude a child because they cannot manage in class. 

    Do give the helpline a call, we are open at 9.30 tomorrow, press option1 for an education adviser. The helpline can be very busy, but please keep trying, or you can email [email protected] 

    I hope other community users can share their experiences and ideas to help moove things forward.

    Take care

  • Thank you for the information Angie, i will give you a call tomorrow. After today's events i think i will need to. She was sick this morning, so i phoned the school to say she would not be in and left a message for the head of year to give me a call so we could arrange a meeting. However she was also ill. Later in the morning when i was at work the attendance person from the school called at the house to check if Kaci was ok and the reason for her not going in. My partner explained that she was feeling ill and the woman asked to see Kaci. Kaci came down the stairs and the woman started asking her loads of questions, to which my partner was not comfortable with and told Kaci to go back upstairs. The lady then asked who my partner was and if she lived in the house. I came back from work and again tried to arrange a meeting only to be told no one was about again. I think i will be losing my rag as well soon. 
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