premature and struggling

Hi, my son is now 8 years old and just starting to realize that (in his words) he is different from the rest of his class! He says he cannot do anything and everyone else can do everything!! 
Basically he was born at 29 weeks and whilst he seemed to catch up in a lot of ways it has only been since starting school his progress has shown him to be behind. As the years have gone by he has lagged more and more behind his peers and recently his behavior has started to change for the worse. He is losing his temper at home, and doing things at school that make him get sent out of his class. When I asked him about this he said it's because he cannot do his work and if he gets sent out he might not have to do it. Sounds plain naughty but he has never been like this before, with a usually gorgeous sunny temperament but suddenly he seems to be taking his frustration out by being challenging with us both at home and at school. After researching prem babies and their later years in school I noticed it is a bit of a grey area, with teachers not having the skills or no how taught to them on this, and the thing that came up a lot was that prem kids can struggle at school academically, socially, and with their memory etc. 
I wonder if there is any guidance from any parents in a similar situation or if anyone knows of who I can talk to regarding this. I have spoken to the school who seem to think he is just misbehaving, I however know this is completely out of character for him and feel it could be a cry for help.


  • FennoFenno Member, Community Moderator
    Hi roselleA 


    My name is Angie I work at Contact. I hope you get some tips and support from other parents here. 

    Some children need more help to support their learning at school. They may have difficulty with reading, writing, numbers, social skills, talking and listening, physical skills, emotions, and behaviour. A child that needs a lot of extra help in any of these areas has special educational needs (SEN). Some children have SEN due to a medical condition or disability but children can also have SEN without a diagnosis or identified disability.

    Your son’s behaviour may be linked to an unmet SEN. Children often learn to mask their learning difficulties, but eventually the stress of this can affect their behaviour at school or home.  If you live in England all mainstream schools must publish an SEN information report. This is usually on the school website. It should include how the school identifies and supports children with SEN in their school. Have a look at the report, and request a meeting with the school’s special educational needs coordinator (SENCO) to discuss your concerns and ways forward. 

    If your son does have SEN, then the first step is an SEN support plan. An SEN support plan is drawn up by the SENCO, parents shoudl be involved with the process. We have more information on this on our extra support in school webpage:

    Parent advisers on the Contact helpline are not medically qualified but if you would to talk through your concerns, and how to raise them with the school, please get in touch our helpline:

    I hope this helps. Bye for now. 


Sign In or Register to comment.